Why ALL and EVERY makes you wrong.
Sometimes we just short-cuts like ALL and EVERY, but they can lead you astray. This time we look at why.
I got an email today that suggested the following:
“Our country, as a nation, is doomed, and should seriously consider dividing into two states. The democrats will never agree with the republicans and the republicans despise the dems.”
I want to restate that I don’t want this to be a place for a political debate as I don’t care what you believe (“good on ya”). I want to focus on why these sentences are a poor way to communicate and why we can all do better.
Fast communication drives limited thinking
I completely understand that it's an easy conversational shortcut to say 'all' or imply 'every.' It is so much easier to use these collective terms to help make your point, rather than a long-winded clarification of who you are actually talking about. You hear it every day on TV, "all democrats," "all republicans," "all Californians," or maybe "all lazy people."
Yet, there are three fundamental problems with this.
Firstly, few of us think of ourselves as part of a generic or amorphous group. We would find that type of grouping limiting in the breadth of what we believe. It would miss the nuance of our understanding. The world as it occurs to us is complex and three-dimensional. So, we would probably argue that we should not be included in a group as "all" - we are too distinct. So, if we don't like it, then maybe it would be better not to do it to others.
The second reason, in our modern 140-character world, is the challenge of context. If you use a phrase like "all" or "every," you will find yourself requoted without the context needed to explain how you meant it. Of course, there may be people who want to damage you by taking you out of context or editing your words, but you don't have to make it easy for them.
The third and final reason is the most important and if you care about creating a better world for everyone.
Living In a World of Possibility
One of the most entertaining speakers I have ever listened to was Benjamin Zander. Zander is a British-born conductor who is the musical director for the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and the Boston Philharmonic Youth Orchestra. With his wife Rosemond Zander, he wrote a book called "The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life."
In the book, they cover 12 practices that will give you new ways of thinking and shift your perspective. The last two are to 'Create Possibility Frameworks' and to 'Focus on WE." Together these can steer us away from backward and negative thinking and move us to live in a world of Possibilities.
Don't be surprised if this seems to run in defiance of focus on things like 'intersectionality’ and ‘identity’ politics. To me, it does. The Possibility, in this context, is the opposite of Identity. When we focus on Identity, we focus on the things that make us different, not the same. For effect, we extend these differences until they become almost irreconcilable (see the quote that started this sub-stack). The opposite of this world of Possibility is what Zander defined as a world of Identity. It's a world of "right and "wrong," "should and shouldn't." Once you head down that path, then you start lying to yourself.
If instead, we look at possibilities where we ("You + I") are more alike than different, then we can build a path for all of us into the future. We create a world where everyone can be included, and no one is left out. It is not a perfect world, and there will be lots wrong with it, but the Possibility of a future gives us something to work on together.
A canyon between you and I
Lightening-rod Jordan Peterson and British actor and activist Stephen Fry took on American blogger Michelle Goldberg and American political commentator and academic Michael Eric Dyson to debate 'political correctness.'
This is a quote from Fry:
"A Grand Canyon has opened up in our world. This fissure, the crack, grows wider every day. Neither on each side can hear a word that the other shrieks nor do they want to. While these armies and propagandists in the culture wars clash, down below, in the enormous space between the two sides, the people of the world try to get on with their lives, alternately baffled, bored, and betrayed by the horrible noises and explosions that echo all around. I think it's time for this toxic, binary, zero-sum madness to stop before we destroy ourselves."
An excellent first step may be to stop saying 'all.'